Grieving Fathers
by The Great Artiste
Summary: Unable to come to terms with the death of Michael, Reverend Darnell Potter surprisingly seeks the help of a man who understands the loss of a son.
1. Chapter 1

I was giving the episode "Unbearable Loss" (Season 7 episode 10) another view when it occurred to me there was so much more this episode could have done to develop both a dialogue between Potter and Frank, not to mention the further exploration of Joe and who he was as a son, brother, uncle, cop, and all around human being.

I also noted that the writers lack continuity for instance, Potter asks Frank and Danny to attend the funeral. Frank replies by saying that they would be honored and would see Potter "in the morning". The next scene is the weekly Sunday dinner where Frank and Danny are dressed in black suits. This is not how Frank and Danny usually dress for Sunday church and everyone else is more or less dressed casually. During dinner Frank states that Potter asked him to speak at the service, and he tells them what he plans to say so we know that the funeral has not yet occurred. By their formal dress, the visual cue is that Frank and Danny are going to the service later that day, or, have just come from it.

Many of the episodes have the same problem, such as how old each of the kids are, and when Erin should have really turned 40 as opposed to when she did. As Joe's gravestone declares his date of birth to be June 5, 1977, the ages of the other siblings have to in some way relate to that date, and Joe's birth order in the line of siblings in relation to theirs.

Anyway, on to my story:

9:25 a.m. Wednesday, March 15, 2017

New York County Superior Court

Criminal Courts Building

100 Centre Street

New York City, New York.

"Please rise" the bailiff hailed. "The Honorable Michael Callahan presiding" he concluded as the judge took his seat on the bench, after which he bade the courtroom to be seated.

His clerk handed the judge the first two files of the day. "People of the State of New York versus Omar Davis and People versus Dante Micklewhite" she crisply stated.

The judge accepted the cases and spent a minute reviewing the particulars, though he was more than familiar with them.

"On the first matter before the Court, People v. Dante Micklewhite" the judge announced.

"Erin Reagan appearing on behalf of the People of the State of New York" Erin replied.

"Joseph Delici of the New York County Public Defender's Office appearing on behalf of the Defendant, Dante Micklewhite" Erin's opponent stated.

The judge looked at Erin and then at Mr. Delici affording them both a courteous nod before commencing.

"Today is the sentencing date in this matter for Defendant Dante Micklewhite" the judge declared. "Are the People ready?" He inquired of Erin.

"Yes your Honor." She replied.

And the Defendant?" The judge inquired of Delici.

"The Defendant is also ready." He responded.

"I see that a plea agreement has been entered into by the Defendant?" The judge inquired.

"That is correct your honor." Erin affirmed. "The District Attorney's Office charged Mr. Micklewhite, a 15-year-old minor at the time, as an adult. In return for his plea and allocution of the crime, the State has stipulated to waive all charges except for the counts of Capital Murder and Felony use of a firearm. In return for his plea, the Defendant will be sentenced as an adult to a term of 25 years to life with eligibility for parole after the minimum, plus a two year term to run consecutively for the firearm. He will serve his term in a juvenile facility until he attains the age of 19 years at which time he will be transferred to an adult facility for the remainder thereof."

"Mr. Delici?" the Judge inquired.

"The Defendant so stipulates to the agreement as written, and to the terms stated on the record by the prosecutor." He responded.

"Will the Defendant please rise and allocate." The judge ordered.

Dante Micklewhite then stood and informed the Court of his crime, how he wanted to join Omar Davis's crew and as his initiation, was required to shoot someone. It was pretty much as Danny Reagan summed it up in his final investigative report, which he then turned over to the New York County District Attorney's Office.

Following the allocution, the judge imposed the agreed upon sentence and Dante Micklewhite was removed from the courtroom.

Danny sat behind Erin along with Jamie, who attended for moral support, knowing how difficult the murder of Michael Potter had been both on his brother, and father. With Frank unable to attend due to prior commitments, Jamie had offered to accompany Danny.

The clerk next called the case of the People v. Omar Davis, and the same routine was reenacted as Davis allocated to his part in the young Potter's murder. As an adult, he would be immediately transferred to an adult facility to begin spending no less than the next 30 years of his life but he would face the possibility of parole which is the only reason he had pled out. A jury conviction all but assured he would one day die in a cage.

Once the judge has passed sentence on Davis, the Court took a short recess.

Danny and Jamie arose from their seat and walked over to their sister to offer their congratulations. What they failed to notice was the broken man who had sat near the rear of the courtroom, and to which these proceedings had brought no consolation.

He left the courthouse and climbed into the back of a waiting car to be ferried back to his church office, but even his work, be it of the religious or the community activist variety, failed to bring him solace, comfort, or an inner peace.

Darnell Potter was truly a broken man having been cruelly stripped of the one thing he loved most in life, his son, who had been wantonly and deliberately stolen from him for something as senseless as a gang initiation, and for what, for Michael having been in the wrong place at the wrong time? Why would God do this to him?

As a man of God, Potter had consoled many of his parishioners on the loss of their loved ones but now that it was his turn, he could find no satisfactory answer or explanation that would make sense to him.

Nearly five months had elapsed since that evening when Potter had been summoned to the location where Michael's inert form lay, his arch enemy's son, standing over the body, however since then the actions of the Reagans, both father and eldest son, had caused Darnell Potter to take new stock in himself, and of the actions and kindness of others, be they NYPD or white.

He thought back to the conversation held between himself and Frank Reagan the day the latter knocked on his front door.

"We got him." Frank announced.

After being informed that the instigator behind the crime had been an attendee at Potter's camp for at risk youths, he had informed Reagan: "If I never have to swallow another piece of irony in this lifetime it will be just fine."

He had known that the Commissioner had lost one of his three sons, but not the circumstances surrounding it, so when Frank informed him that he did understand the irony surrounding Michael's death, that a crooked cop had killed his son, Potter was at a total loss for words.

Something about that confession never quite left Darnell Potter's mind and over the past five months it began to fester as he dealt with his own grief over his loss of Michael. Try as he might, he couldn't help an inner part of himself from wanting to know more about Frank Reagan's loss which had to be far greater than his own, considering the circumstances of each of their sons' deaths, and so it was a week later when Baker walked into a meeting between Frank, Garrett, and Sid with an announcement that knocked them all for a loop.

11:18 a.m. Thursday, March 23, 2017

Office of the Commissioner of Police

New York City Police Department

14th Floor, One Police Plaza

New York City, New York.

Abigail Baker knocked on frosty glass door to the office of the Police Commissioner of the City of New York, and gently made her way in.

All conversation immediately ceased as three sets of eyes turned in her direction.

"Reverend Potter is on line 3. He would like to speak to you if you are available." She informed the Commissioner.

"What did we do now?" Sid Gormley reflexively inquired in reference to the NYPD.

Garrett began scrolling through his emails and text messages to see if he missed a notification as to a new storm that he and Frank needed to get ahead of, but nothing appeared.

"How about I take the call and we find out?" Frank answered as he lifted the receiver and pressed the button for line 3.

"Hello Reverend." Frank noncommittedly greeted.

"Commissioner, I hope I haven't caught you at a bad time." Potter responded.

"Not at all, how are you and Lois doing?" Frank inquired.

"As I am sure you know, some days are better than others, however none are as good as they once were or would have been." Potter answered.

Frank inwardly winced at the response as he knew too well what Potter was going through.

"Frank, I was wondering if perhaps you had a free evening for dinner. I'd really like to talk to you, as another father who can understand what I'm going through."

To say that Frank Reagan was shocked would have been mild. That such astonishment did not register on his face for Garrett or Sidney to see was a testament to his self-control.

He looked down to his calendar and flipped through the pages for the remainder of the current week. "How about next Wednesday, the 29th, 7 p.m. at Delmonico's?" Frank inquired.

"Thank you, I look forward to it. See you then." Potter stated before both men disconnected.

Garrett began scrolling through his calendar to note the date and time Frank had just mentioned.

"What's on Potter's mind that he wants to meet with you?" He inquired.

"Nothing official." Frank replied.

"Boss?" Sidney asked.

"He wants to just talk, as a father who has lost a son to another father who can understand the pain he is going through." Frank responded.

"Potter wants your help in getting through his grief?" Garrett astonishingly asked.

"Yes." Frank nodded.

Sid rose from his chair and began looking out the window while Garrett's fingers began hammering away at his I-Pad.

Frank noticed the two and inquired: "What are you two doing?"

"Looking for flying pigs." Sid answered.

"Checking the weather report from Hell to see if it's dipped below 32 degrees." Garrett stated.

"Knock it off, the man lost his son and he's reaching out. This could be a positive thing moving forward." Frank admonished.

"No doubt Frank, but you have to admit that after all the fire and brimstone that man has heaped upon you and this department, and all the hell he has put Danny and Jamie through, it's sort of ironic that he wants to use Joe's murder as a subject to bond over." Garrett replied.

"Speaking of which, how do you think Detective Reagan and Officer Reagan are going to react to this?" Sid inquired.

"First of all, I would hope I have raised my sons well enough to be empathetic to another person's suffering and secondly, Joe was the family peacemaker and if his loss can be the starting point to a conversation that brings Potter some type of closure and comfort, and maybe helps to take a load off of this department, I'd like to think that he'd be all for it." Frank clearly stated.

"Baker, clear my schedule for next Wednesday evening." He yelled out before turning to face Garrett and Sidney. "And don't plan on being two flies on the wall."

"The thought never occurred to me." Garrett replied.

"What he said." Sidney nodded.

2:00 p.m. Sunday, March 26, 2017

Home of Francis Reagan

8070 Harbor View Terrace

Brooklyn, New York.

"Amen" the family chorused in conclusion of grace.

"So how was everyone's week?" Henry inquired.

"Productive." Jamie answered.

Danny looked over at his younger brother. "In what way?" He inquired.

"Three collars, helped out an EDP and, I took the Sergeant's exam." He announced to everyone's surprise.

"You don't want to be a detective?" Danny astonishingly asked.

"You've been wanting that gold shield for years." Erin followed.

"Not going to happen as long as Dad's P.C. but if I pass the Sergeant's exam, then I have to be promoted." He replied while looking his father dead in the eyes.

This was not a conversation Frank wanted to have because in truth, he was the reason nobody would recommend Jamie for promotion to detective for fear of being accused of currying favor with the Commissioner. He had become the obstacle in his son's rise up the ranks and it inwardly hurt him to be however in the current political climate, he knew that if Jamie were promoted to detective, no matter how well deserved such a promotion may be, and in the opinion of many it was long overdue, cries of nepotism and favoritism would haunt Jamie for the remainder of his career in the NYPD.

"Besides, as a patrol Sergeant, I get to stay on the streets, continue being a T.O. and participate in setting precinct patrol policy." Jamie concluded.

"Plus you would outrank Uncle Danny." Nicky noted.

"Yeah, how about that Danny?" Erin smiled.

Danny smiled back at his sister. "Remember the time you were considering being a judge, and the Kid said that no matter how you got there he wouldn't be calling you 'your honor'? Likewise, should he make Sergeant he shouldn't expect my salute anytime soon."

"I'd be more surprised if you did." Jamie chuckled.

Linda, Nicky, Jack, and Sean each contributed a few anecdotes from their prior week before Erin closed with a summary of the proceedings of Michael Potter's killers.

"I know that he has caused you all a lot of grief, especially you Frank, but I can't help but feel sorry for him. Even someone who behaved as he did doesn't deserve to lose a child." Linda stated to everyone's nods and ascents.

"Speaking of the good Reverend, I received a phone call from him." Frank noted.

"When?" Eric inquired.

"This past Thursday." Frank answered.

"Did he call to thank you?" Henry asked.

"No, he already thanked both Danny and me at the funeral. He called to invite me to dinner." Frank explained, whereupon the room went deathly still and silent as all eyes focused on him.

"Did I hear you right?" Danny asked.

"You did." Frank replied. "He wants to sit down, one father to another and discuss what it's like moving forward after suffering such a loss. He seems unable to come to grips with it." Frank answered.

"So after having Jamie thrown down a flight of stairs, and trying to have Danny tossed off the force, he's now going to use Joe as a means of coping with his own son's death." Henry facetiously stated.

"And if Joe were here or able to communicate with us, I think he would not only be fine with it, he would encourage it." Jamie replied.

"My feelings exactly." Frank added.

"If Joe had been alive when Potter went after Danny and Jamie, I think he would have asked for a sit down and tried to broker a peace between the NYPD and Potter." Erin commented.

"If Joe were alive, Potter would have gone after him too, just because he's your son." Jamie opined.

"Joe always saw the best in everyone and in all situations. Too bad he didn't realize his own partner was such a scumbag." Danny huffed.

"So are you going to have dinner with him?" Jack asked.

"Yes Jack, I am." Frank answered.

"Think it will help?" Sean probed.

"I hope so Sean. Losing a child is the most intense pain a parent can ever endure and it's a limited club I certainly never wanted to join. Losing one's son to a senseless murder is common ground Reverend Potter and I share and maybe it's the foundation for a common understanding of how we can work together moving forward in a way that best serves our city." Frank concluded.

"Can you at least do Danny and I one favor, I mean after all Potter has put us through?" Jamie inquired.

"What's that?" Frank asked.

"Stick him with the check." Danny stated mirroring his brother's thought.

-30-


	2. Chapter 2

6:45 p.m. Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Delmonico's Steak House

56 Beaver Street

New York City, New York.

Darnell Potter exited his chauffeured car and walked inside the landmark steakhouse.

The maître d looked up from the reservations book and smiled.

"Reverend Potter, welcome to Delmonico's." He greeted.

"Thank you." He replied. "I'm meeting Commissioner Reagan at seven o'clock but I'm a little early."

"The Commissioner is a very punctual man so he should be arriving shortly. In the meantime, would you like me to take you to your table, or would you like to wait for him at the bar?"

"The bar if you don't mind." Potter replied.

"Of course, please, right this way" the maître d offered as he guided Potter to the beautiful wood bar. "Upon his arrival I will let the Commissioner know that you are waiting for him."

Potter ordered a single malt on the rocks and took a sip. Many thoughts flooded his mind. He wanted to pick Frank's brain but he didn't want to seem intrusive or disrespectful, sure, they had their professional differences, but this was about as personal as it could get, the loss of a child.

He figured that he must have zoned out in thought for he felt a hand gently on his shoulder followed by a soft "Darnell?"

He turned to see Frank Reagan smiling down at him.

"Frank, hello, thank you for coming. Sorry, I was lost in thought." He replied as he stood to shake the PC's hand.

"No need to apologize, I didn't mean to startle you." Frank responded.

"Please, may I order you a drink?" Potter offered.

Frank looked to the bar tender. "I'll have what he's having, and put them both on my tab."

"No Frank, please, I insist. I invited you out. The least I can do is take care of our tab tonight." Potter responded.

Frank nodded. "As you wish."

After a few minutes of small talk about how Potter and his wife were doing, and Potter's inquiring as to Frank's family, the two picked up from the bar and walked over to Frank's customary corner booth.

"Gives us some privacy." He noted as the two men slid in.

"I appreciate it, especially considering our prior bouts with the media." Potter acknowledged.

Menus were presented and after ordering, Potter got down to the crux of the meeting.

"I only had the one child, but he was my life. At the end of the day, it was just him and Lois. All I could think about for the first two days after his death was this was the end of my life as I knew it, how could I go on, how could Lois and I move forward as a couple, the irony of Michael's murder and I can't come up with an explanation or an answer on how to deal with the fact that a boy I tried to save from a life of crime ordered my son's murder, and then you said something to me that makes me believe you may have an answer to that irony."

"What would that be?" Frank inquired.

"That your son was killed by a crooked cop." Potter replied.

Frank nodded. "Not just any crooked cop, his partner, the one person above all others who was supposed to have his back, to protect him against any danger he faced on the street."

Potter was aghast. "My God."

Frank leaned forward drawing Potter in as well. "Joe was a detective assigned to the Warrant Squad. Great hours, lots of overtime, but you never knew who or what awaited you on the other side of the door you knocked on, or kicked in. Desperate people and all. He could have been a homicide or major case detective like Danny, but solving crimes wasn't his thing. I always said that my Irish son was part Cajun bloodhound." Frank chuckled which got a smile out of Potter.

"He loved the Hunt." Potter commented.

"He did." Frank nodded. "Some of the stories he would tell at the dinner table, even Danny was mesmerized and trust me, he has some pretty good stories of his own."

"I have an idea as to how a few of those might go." Potter grinned.

"Turned out that a we had a few bad apples in the department. The FBI became suspicious that some cops in the Warrant Squad were busting drug operations and keeping the drugs and cash for themselves. The FBI asked Joe to be their inside man. At some point, his partner became suspicious and on May 15, 2009, Joe was ambushed and shot dead by his partner, who then murdered two additional men who were blamed for killing Joe. We, meaning me and my family, bought the story hook, line, and sinker and continued to believe it for over two years. We thought that the Joe's murder was a closed case, so we grieved and we had moved on."

"What changed that?" Potter inquired.

"Jamie, graduated Harvard Law and was supposed to stay out of the family business. When Joe was killed, he decided to become a cop to honor his fallen brother. Cost him his fiancée who left him. On the day he graduated the police academy, he was approached by the FBI to continue where Joe left off however, Jamie has a lot of Danny in him and he was suspicious of the FBI so he investigated the matter himself. One night, an attempt was made on his life and he went to Danny with everything he had learned and within a couple of days solved their brother's murder. Here a crooked cop had killed my boy and all that time I could only think that as the PC, by approving Joe's assignment to the Warrant Squad, I had inadvertently sent my son to his death." Frank stated.

"Frank, you couldn't have known that, it's no different than Detective Reagan chasing down a suspect, or Officer Reagan pulling over a drunk driver, there's always that unknown risk. You can't carry that weight, that's falls on the crooked cops." Potter replied.

"No more than you can carry the weight of what happened to Michael. You sent him off that day to school and afterward to engage in a math competition, which I hear he won. On his way home he did what any 15 year old boy should be free to do after school, he walked into a legitimate business and purchased some video games. It wasn't your fault, or his mother's, or even his that Omar Davis put a blanket contract out just to initiate Dante Micklewhite into his crew. That weight belongs to Davis, to Micklewhite, and to their parents for failing to raise them right, the way you raised Michael, and the way I raised my sons and daughter." Frank concluded.

Potter nodded. "I agree but still, you feel that somehow you failed them." He began before being stopped by Frank.

"Darnell, Michael was 15, not 8. He had a life, and he chose to live that life and 15 I can tell you, that means they want some amount of freedom to do as they please. Joe and Jamie weren't too bad. Danny and Erin on the other hand, those are stories for another time and another dinner." Frank grinned.

"Somehow I just don't see Detective Reagan as the playful type, as I can envision Jamison to be." Potter replied.

"I've noticed how you keep referring to Danny as "Detective Reagan". Frank noted.

Potter nodded. "Daniel, doesn't give off that warm fuzzy feeling though I do have a new-found respect and appreciation for his abilities."

Frank explained: "Danny served two tours with the Marine Corps in Iraq. That plus over 20 years of seeing the worst that humanity has to offer right here in our city has shaped him to be the way he is but he is a devoted husband and father and a very protective big brother to Erin and Jamie."

"There must be an interesting dynamic to your children's relationship with one another." Potter noted.

Frank nodded: "Danny is the eldest, Erin is two years his junior. Joe was three years younger than Erin and five years older than Jamie. Joe and Jamie were best friends but Joe, he was the patient one. Danny, Erin and Jamie have a bit of my temper but Joe, you would have liked him, he could sit down with anyone and calmly discuss anything."

"Why didn't Erin join the force?" Potter asked.

"She never felt the calling like her great grandfather, grandfather, and her brothers and I did. She felt that she could serve in a different way. Erin likes to say that having three brothers prepared her to become a lawyer. If she wasn't brokering a deal between two of them, she was figuring out which one of the three had done something they were guilty of. That, and she spent a lot of time defending Jamie from his brothers and their mock kangaroo court. For some reason, Jamie was always the defendant whom Danny arrested and Joe prosecuted. Poor Jamie didn't stand a chance, but he idolized his brothers. Danny was married, had one son and another on the way, and took his role as big brother seriously, still does. Joe was single, had this great job, drove a classic '71 Chevelle, dressed and lived the part of Mr. Cool, and as you may expect." Frank stated while raising his eyebrows.

"He had all the women he could handle." Potter smiled.

"And then some, but he did eventually meet a wonderful girl and that settled him down. I think had he lived another month he would have proposed. We found the ring."

"Michael was all Lois" Potter commiserated. "Her smile, her intellect, her positive attitude, her calm demeanor, but he had my curiosity and tenacity. If he wanted to accomplish something, nobody stood in his way."

Frank reached into the attaché case he sometimes carried with him and brought out a photograph of Joe in his NYPD dress blues which he handed over to Potter.

Potter looked at it confused. "This is Officer Reagan, Jamison, your youngest." He commented.

Frank warmly smiled, as he was use to the visual miscues between his middle and youngest sons.

"Meet Detective Joseph Reagan. He was three weeks short of his thirty-second birthday when he was murdered. That photograph was taken on his 30th birthday. Jaime isn't much older than that now."

"Remarkable resemblance." Potter noted.

Frank handed Potter a photograph of the four siblings.

"Taken the Easter Sunday prior to Joe's death."

Potter smiled at the three brothers huddled around their sister. "Easy to tell who kept your sons in line."

"Still does. She practically raised Jamie and still exerts a good amount of influence over her brothers." Frank replied.

"I remember when she was shot in the courtroom. I knew about Joe. Despite our differences, I asked those around me to pray that you didn't lose another child that day." Potter admitted.

"I'm grateful that all of our prayers were answered, and that Danny saved her."

"You never talk about your wife." Potter stated.

"Mary" Frank began. "Like Lois is to you, Mary was the better part of, and everything to me. She was a wonderful mother and there are days I truly did not know how she survived raising Danny, Erin, and Joe, let alone Jamie. We lost her to breast cancer in September 2005."

"Ever make Lois a promise?" Frank inquired.

"Of course." Potter answered.

"Kept every one?" Frank asked.

"Yes, as far as I can recall." Potter answered.

"Me too, except for the last one. On her deathbed, Mary made me promise that I would not allow Jamie to follow his brothers into the NYPD. Only promise I ever broke. Was bad enough when Joe died, but his mother had made her peace with Danny and Joe being cops, but Jamie was to follow Erin into the law." Frank explained. "Every day he is out there I wonder how I would explain it to his mother if anything happened to him."

"What reason would you give?" Potter asked.

"That Jamie's vocation wasn't her choice to make, nor was it mine. It was his as his alone, you see Darnell, we can feed them, teach them, and put bandages on their cuts and scrapes, and show them how to fend for and take care of themselves, but we can't live their lives for them. Would I like to put a big dome over my family and keep them safe, or would I like to assign Jamie to the Legal Department and Danny to the Motor Pool so that they remain safe, of course I would but that would be selfish of me and unfair to them, not to mention a loss to this city of a couple of very good skill sets." Frank concluded.

"So what you are telling me is that in spite of the irony we have both lived through, we have been blessed with the time we have had with those we have lost, and the ability to cherish those who remain." Potter stated.

"Despite my firm convictions, I have always been a man who tries to face facts, and to accept the reality of life as new experience and new knowledge unfolds. I have always kept an open mind, a flexibility that must go hand in hand with every form of the intelligent search for truth."

"Malcom X" Potter noted.

Frank nodded. "You have Lois to help you through your grief and you have an obligation to support her in her grief. You two are a team and while losing a child is a pain no parent should have to bear, losing the love of your life is worse. Fortunately, I had my four children to help me through Mary's death, and then my remaining three to help me get through Joe. We turn to those who are left to us and we stand strong for those who remain. We are also both fortunate enough to have a close circle of those we trust who if we let in, will also be there for us to lighten the load of that grief."

-30-


End file.
